Saturday, February 23, 2008

Product Review: 3 Musketeers Mint with Dark Chocolate

You might have seen this new candy bar in stores or in various forms of advertisements. Perhaps you've wondered (like I did) whether this new creation was a bold step into a wonderful future full of robots and cyborgs. Or perhaps you worried (like I did), that this twisted genetic mutation engineered by scientists in white lab coats was an ill-conceived affront on god and nature.

The packaging proclaims this new candy bar to be %45 less fattening than the old model. Once you open the package you immediately see the ultimate price these 3 musketeers paid in an effort to convince gay men and broads to eat their candy.

Not only is the girth of the bar noticeably smaller, it is broken into two pieces. The second piece had been instantly eaten by a coworker of mine before it could be photographed, so if you're a stickler for accuracy, get really drunk until you see two of the above image.

Now for the innards. I curiously sunk my sweaty teeth into the bar's dark chocolate and peppermint flavour. As the taste set in I realized that this was no 3 musketeers bar, but a complete rip off of a York Peppermint Patty! Bullshit. No creamy nougat taste, and only enough in the bag to fill up the tummy of an anorexic 10 year old.

I was let down by Billy Ray again. For the time being I'll look to the original to get some nougat, and raid your grandma's candy dish for some York Peppermint Patty's if I ever have the urge to eat them old time shits!


Anonymous said...

While I agree that nothing good can come out of stretching a york peppermint patty into a candy bar shaped lincoln log, they do actually serve well as a holiday themed treat.

Every year at Christmas my Grandmother still has a stocking for all of the Grandkids set up over the fireplace and this year there was a nauseatingly huge bag of these bite-sized bastards. Once I was able to get over the fact that they were neither York or Musketeer in origin, I was able to put the bulk of them down the gullet.

Joseph Luster said...

They sound deliciously deceptive!